The Bus Out Of Hell

No one's paid for my sins
I had to swipe them off a convenience store counter and run like hell
I realized a little to late that there's really nothing wrong with me
I was meant to simply be
And If that wasn't good enough
I guess you should've just aborted me
But It's a little late so what the hell
Let me do my shit and don't worry about a thing
Life is to Find some love or substitute and owe and pay
I learned all my tricks after school in the afternoon in a bedroom away from the screams
I didn't party and I needed you like you needed me
A speaker blaring all my pain down the drain and out the windows
Staring at my youth spilling out a page of ink
No one will exist that remembers me
When it's cold outside I went for walks on my own in my head
I lost so much time being a prisoner
And If I must confess the worst thing I ever did
It was that I let you keep me down on my luck and down on myself for so long
Everyone has their opinions and they're just throwaway like all of mine
What should I believe
From people who never believed in anything of mine
Are you listening, I decided to throw away all the crap you filled me up with
And I don't remember a fucking thing you wanted to put on me
I guess I can be smart but it's fun to be dumb
But not a little ignorant runt who dresses like a trendy fag
A new sun rises
And it marks a better day than all the last
A day to survive and not give in to pressure
I found out I don't have to be ashamed
And that I really don't need to say I'm sorry when I'm not
I ran away from all my hurting parts
But that's another story

Nothing Is Changing

Walking across time, Years like hundreds of miles
There was nothing in the falling rain, but still we search
This world was not cursed by a deity
It was damned by you and me
Why do we hurt as we live in fear
Where was all this hate born from
Could there ever be another way
Could we have ever had it in some other life
Realities don't shatter like glass
The hold fast like diamonds
Contemplating the suit and tie and the syringe
This was never meant to be
Even when it was etched in stone
Hurting the ones we love
Loving the ones we hate
Nothing like temptation to draw the lines in our eyes
Define pain and I'll give you every souls definition of all this agony
The same causes but it all hurts so beautifully different
A thousand upon millions of blackened souls
Never will we be the same again
Life has become something else entirely
Why does the fear never die

I Don’t Know You

 I look in the mirror and I find I don’t know you anymore
I don’t know this person I see
This person I live in
I remember trying to live a normal life
And when I resurfaced from the waters I had been suffocating in
I saw I was living like the dead
Alone, in a room, and anything but normal
A child and nothing more
Hurting and scared all the time
Sad and wishing for someone or something to fulfill
Words couldn’t describe
You knew your weakness and how ugly and powerless you could feel
You knew you weren’t them like you do now
But I’ve gotten colder, and you had more faith
You had a drive, a will to live,
But I can feel that is slowly dying to
How much could anyone hurt you?
They could destroy everything
So you grew your hate
And your fat body and unhappy mind began to hurt
Your skin began to hurt
You were sensitive and sometimes that still is true
But you knew something was wrong with you
You shouldn’t have been and you didn’t ask to be
So you hated everything and then you hated yourself
Your hate grew like a tree
But now I can feel it overgrowing the fence lines of your heart
So you planted a few ideas
And a big one came true when you needed it and were weak
So now I plan to be better to be fierce and deadly and something wilder than all your imagination growing in that room
No matter where I end up
I have reached the end of this life limit
I want more
I want more for the arms that wrapped themselves around you at night because they had nowhere else to be
The earth was your friend and so was everything inside
Because outside now that I evoke old tired thoughts
I remember all the pain
But I’m done with the pain
Done with people and society and being this way
You became me as you got tired of everything
Hate because love was dead like god was dead to Nietzsche
There is no trust amongst these animals we call people
They are all just as corrupt
People always comment on you
Because to see what they are would kill them because they contradict their own sick and stupid society
You could never feel good enough
But we will be
I thought I didn’t know you
but maybe you don’t know me

Living alone

Her tattoo reads, "out of order"
Broken minds, broken bones
Nothing works out like It's meant to be
You just crawl your way through life
Never knowing If things are gonna be ok
No friends,no family
Life getting so out of hand
You fear death, but you just don't care
You exist
You don't live
Politicians, religion
It all fades
You believe what you taught yourself
You believe what you learned
Not what society,others, culture
Wound into your head
Writing on the bathroom walls to your soul
You graffiti your heart yourself
Broken heart, Broken soul
Whose to say if we die we won't meet again
Till the death sensation takes hold