I Don’t Know You

 I look in the mirror and I find I don’t know you anymore
I don’t know this person I see
This person I live in
I remember trying to live a normal life
And when I resurfaced from the waters I had been suffocating in
I saw I was living like the dead
Alone, in a room, and anything but normal
A child and nothing more
Hurting and scared all the time
Sad and wishing for someone or something to fulfill
Words couldn’t describe
You knew your weakness and how ugly and powerless you could feel
You knew you weren’t them like you do now
But I’ve gotten colder, and you had more faith
You had a drive, a will to live,
But I can feel that is slowly dying to
How much could anyone hurt you?
They could destroy everything
So you grew your hate
And your fat body and unhappy mind began to hurt
Your skin began to hurt
You were sensitive and sometimes that still is true
But you knew something was wrong with you
You shouldn’t have been and you didn’t ask to be
So you hated everything and then you hated yourself
Your hate grew like a tree
But now I can feel it overgrowing the fence lines of your heart
So you planted a few ideas
And a big one came true when you needed it and were weak
So now I plan to be better to be fierce and deadly and something wilder than all your imagination growing in that room
No matter where I end up
I have reached the end of this life limit
I want more
I want more for the arms that wrapped themselves around you at night because they had nowhere else to be
The earth was your friend and so was everything inside
Because outside now that I evoke old tired thoughts
I remember all the pain
But I’m done with the pain
Done with people and society and being this way
You became me as you got tired of everything
Hate because love was dead like god was dead to Nietzsche
There is no trust amongst these animals we call people
They are all just as corrupt
People always comment on you
Because to see what they are would kill them because they contradict their own sick and stupid society
You could never feel good enough
But we will be
I thought I didn’t know you
but maybe you don’t know me

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