I smell something like desperation
But the summer heat has hid it until now
Now I can see clearly
What it means when you quiver like your being fucked when you're not
Fists ball and lips bit
Anxiety was such a party rage
Confidence was never strong with you even now
Do your palms ever sweat
Do your eyes ever have to just look down
Do you feel like your existence is some mistake
An accident on a test you wish you could erase
But lives write in pens
In a universe without white out and indestructible paper
Licking envelopes to hide your mistakes
Wasting time on another deadline
That's why I don't give a damn
Let it play out, life has taken the living outta me
One person can moan better than a whole choir sings
When orgasms feel like body-wide paper cuts
Tag: paper
Broken Dolls and Torn up Paper Angels
I found you like a little broken china doll
I took you through the cobblestone and concrete home
I glued and mended your porcelain face
I stitched your clothes and made you a heart of clay
You had such empty eyes still
I could only make them gleam in the streetlights
I kissed your cold, cold lips
I found my tongue unable to go any further
I found a tear in your glass eyes
That fell upon all the pain no one else could see
All the depression and suffering within me
Deep within the windows of my own eyes
You let me comb at your old and matted synthetic hair
I put my hand on your chest and that heart didn’t beat
Your chest didn’t rise and fall
Even after I put blood in your tile and your fabric
I weaved this and that and still nothing
Nothing but my denial was real
Alternative Darkness 